Suzy Yehl Marta

Suzy Yehl Marta, a divorced mother of three sons, gave up the security of her three jobs to do something she knew in her heart had to be done for our youth who were grieving a life-changing loss. She established Rainbows, now the world’s largest not-for-profit organization dedicated solely to helping families cope with loss. While growing up, Suzy dreamed of being a good wife and mother. She never considered the possibility of divorce and was devastated when her marriage ended. She was relieved when family and friends told her there was no need to worry about her kids. “They’re resilient. They’ll bounce back,” she was told. But soon Suzy realized her sons were hurting as much as she was. She searched for the type of support that she was receiving as an adult. There was no place accessible for them to talk about what they were feeling. Certainly, there was therapy available, which she tried. At the end of the counseling session, she was advised not to return. The therapist said they were just fine adjusting to their loss. But he never told them how to do it. What Suzy learned later was that they were all grieving the death of their nuclear family. In addition, her sons needed to be with other children their age going through the same experiences so they could understand their feelings. Working with other concerned single parents, Suzy began organizing weekend retreats for children in single-parent and step-family homes. In three years, more than 800 youth benefited from the retreats. After hearing their stories, Suzy was compelled to do more. She began working on a formal curriculum- the foundation of Rainbows. Rainbows has served nearly 2 million youth throughout the U.S. and 16 countries. Now the nation’s largest not-for-profit organization dedicated solely to helping families cope with loss.

Articles:

Why Grief is NOT a Mental Illness

Recently, it was announced that the American Psychiatric Association is currently revising the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), a tool used by clinicians to diagnose patients. Shockingly, they’ve added grief as a treatable disease as part of the proposed changes. Put simply, grief is not a clinical illness that can be “treated” but rather the normal, natural way in which people respond when they lose someone or something that is of deep value to them. This topic will be widely covered in the coming months and has already garnered attention from the New York Times and other […]

Helping Children Cope with Grief during the Holiday Season

Holidays are normally a time of joy and celebration amongst families; however, they can heighten children’s sense of loss. Whether it is loss from a death or a divorce, a child is more likely to acknowledge the fact that the relative is missing during these times that are spent with family. According to recent census data, 49.2% of children live in families impacted by death, divorce, separation and abandonment. Despite the sense of loss, parents can prepare for the season, making it special for their children. These seven steps have been created in order to make your child’s holiday season […]

Osama bin Laden’s Death: Tips for Talking with Your Child

The news this week of Osama bin Laden’s death evokes countless emotions. As I look back on the tragic day of September 11, 2001, I shudder with the memories of fear for our country and the immensity of how Rainbows For All Children could help the families who had loved ones die. There’s also the generation that grew up only knowing a post 9/11 life, and as CNN said, they “learned as children that the world is a scary place where strangers with hatred in their hearts steer planes into buildings, grown-ups cry for days and everything can change in […]

OTH Writer Challenges Time Magazine Article on Grief

Recently, TIME magazine published an article, “New Ways to Think About Grief,” by Ruth Davis Konigsberg and it listed several myths on grief. Open to Hope contributing writer Suzy Yehl Marta, founder of Rainbows For All Children, wrote a letter to the editor, copied here: Dear Ruth, Thank you for your recent article, “New Ways to Think About Grief” on Jan. 29. I know you write frequently and in depth on grief, including in your blog and book, The Truth About Grief. Because you touch so many hearts and minds on this topic, I would love the opportunity to share […]

Oldest Edwards Daughter May Have the Toughest Journey

Following are thoughts from Suzy Yehl Marta about the recent death of Elizabeth Edwards. Why do you think people around the country are so moved by her death? Most likely, it is because of the drama and trauma she has endured with her husband’s affair and baby. When this happens to anyone it is humiliating when only family and friends know. For Elizabeth she endured public embarrassment and deep emotional pain. Furthermore, Elizabeth was a role model on how to be heroic through this experience. She was quiet for a long while and when she finally did interviews and in […]

Children Without Grief Support May Turn to Bullying

News headlines are increasingly filled with tragic stories of youth becoming violent because they seemingly are lashing out to their peers as a way of expressing their anger, which I believe is often a result of a significant change in their family. While bullying is a recent issue in the public eye, it is an unfortunate problem that’s affected many for decades. Whether a child is the bully or being bullied, there is an underlying issue that the kids are suppressing and it is the responsibility of adults to become aware of it. In the case of Phoebe Prince, the […]

Haiti’s Children Need Emotional Support after Quake

As the world pulls together to deliver physical necessities such as food, water and shelter, we must remember to respond to the emotional healing that is needed nationwide in Haiti as well. Following the earthquake, the children will experience post-traumatic stress and they will have deep scars, physically and emotionally, that must be tended to. In the beginning, most children will be in emotional and physical shock. They will be grateful for medical and physical care, they’ll play and act as though nothing of such magnitude occurred; they will be dazed. Until the shock has diminished, they will act like […]

Seven Ways to Make Holidays Meaningful for Children After a Loss

The holiday season after my divorce found me overwhelmed and almost totally unprepared. It was a traumatic time, especially for my three young sons. Their father was gone. I went from being a full-time, at-home mom to a single parent working three jobs just to make ends meet. Though I knew the divorce was the right thing to do, I was joyless and angry. Then came Christmas. More than anything, I wanted this to be a special holiday for my sons. I wanted them to feel love. Holidays heighten children’s sense of loss. Even if it’s been years since the […]

Youth Violence Often the Result of Traumatic Losses

By Suzy Yehl Marta — Josh was a quiet kid, a seventh grader in a mid-size, Midwest city whose parents’ divorce left him bereft. Fortunately, his school offered a peer-support group for students struggling with family transitions, and Josh chose to attend. Meeting every week, the kids in the group shared their pain, confusion and divided loyalties. But not Josh. Despite faithfully coming to each session, he remained the quiet boy who sat to the side and didn’t say a word. Is he getting anything out of this program? the facilitator wondered. One day, after the other students drifted from the […]

Children React to a Divorce Much Like They Do to a Death

Note: After my husband and I divorced, I was so overwhelmed with my grief that I didn’t notice that my three boys were hurting too. I learned that kids aren’t resilient, as so many people say, and I knew I had to look for ways to help them. Following is an excerpt from my book, Healing the Hurt, Restoring the Hope. I founded Rainbows For All Children, Inc., more than 26 years ago to help youth all over the world who are suffering and grieving from the death of a parent or divorce. My Personal Journey “Don’t worry about the […]

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